 |
FREE Natural Health Newsletter
Receive natural health product reviews, recommendations and alerts.
Instant download of 20+ free health reports and exclusive interviews.
Join over 1.2 million monthly readers.
|
 |
|
 (NaturalNews Satire) In a significant nod toward pro-environment politics, the Bush Administration yesterday announced a major initiative to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by encouraging everybody to engage in "Wishful Thinking" to cut emissions without harming the economy. "Wishing for change is far more important than actually cutting greenhouse emissions," Bush said in a prepared statement. "We urge all Americans to take up Wishful Thinking to lower CO2 emissions and, if necessary, to even use up their birthday wishes in this national effort."
Bush's science team approved the scientific validity of the plan, citing strong evidence that wishing gets things done. "Nearly half the voters wished that Bush would be elected president, and that came true," said one science officer. "There's no reason to believe the same effort of Wishful Thinking won't also produce a second miracle." President Bush also said he watched "The Secret" and is now invoking the power of intention to end global warming in a way that won't harm the economy.
To help businesses comply with the administration's Wishful Thinking policy of CO2 emissions reduction, the Bush Administration will issue small copper brass lamps (made in China) to all polluters in the United States, along with instructions to rub the genie lamps and make three wishes before firing up any coal plant, automobile or manufacturing facility. Individual citizens will also be required to engage in Wishful Thinking to stop global warming, and those Americans who refuse to participate will be branded "eco terrorists" under a little-known provision in the Patriot Act that grants FBI agents the legal right to give atomic wedgies to anyone demanding civil liberties.
Not everyone is convinced that Wishful Thinking will actually result in greenhouse gas emissions reductions. Lawmakers were quick to leap on the obvious weakness in President Bush's ambitious plan. Rep. Ron Paul, a commonsense Congressman gaining popularity among those Americans who still have any brains left, pointed out that, "When Kennedy announced a plan to send a man to the moon, they actually built a rocket. Under Bush's plan, I suppose we could have just asked everybody to wish a man to the moon and skipped the rest."
While President Bush wishes for greenhouse gas emissions reductions, the international community is wishing President Bush would set measurable emissions caps -- something he has been reluctant to do because after he ran out of fingers and toes, he could no longer count the tons of CO2 actually being produced. That's why all polluters in the U.S. are officially recorded as producing exactly ten tons of CO2 annually.
The economy vs. the environmentThe argument about cutting greenhouse gas emissions has long focused on the economy vs. the environment. The argument logic goes like this: As long as we make money today, it doesn't matter if we destroy the planet tomorrow!
Of course, there are some desperate eco-deniers who claim that greenhouse emissions have no impact on the climate, and that if we would all move to the far left side of the flat Earth, it would tilt over like a playground see-saw and all the greenhouse gasses would just fall off the edge. These are the same scientific minds who have been advising President Bush on environmental policy over the last several years and who have convinced the President to announce a greenhouse gas emissions reduction plan that essentially offers no reductions.
Which is sort of like writing a recipe book that lists no ingredients. Or riffing on stage with rock band Linkin Park and then realizing you're only playing the air guitar. Bush is clearly playing air guitar with environmental policy, and he's jamming out tunes that nobody else can hear (because they only exist in his own head). Bush is the only President audacious enough to hold a press event announcing the intention to talk about future talks covering exactly nothing. The layers of B.S. are getting thick on this issue, even by Washington's standards.
Speaking of bull excrement, Bush also signed an executive order outlawing cow farts -- a significant source of methane gas that scientists say is more dangerous to the climate than a room full of eco-ignorant politicians. Cows will now be required to hold it in, and the Cow Agency of Farting Enforcement (CAFE) is being formed as a new division under the Department of Homeland Security. Agents are descending upon Greeley, Colorado to monitor the flatulence of cow herds at this very moment. The only question is: Will the view be any different than their regular jobs? Because it's all bullsh*t in Washington, too.
Boost this article on YahooBuzz! Click "BuzzUp!"
About the author: Mike Adams is a natural health researcher and author with a passion for sharing empowering information to help improve personal and planetary health He has authored and published thousands of articles, interviews, consumers guides, and books on topics like health and the environment, impacting the lives of millions of readers around the world who are experiencing phenomenal health benefits from reading his articles. Adams is an independent journalist with strong ethics who does not get paid to write articles about any product or company. In 2007, Adams launched EcoLEDs, a manufacturer of mercury-free, energy-efficient LED lighting products that save electricity and help prevent global warming. He's also a veteran of the software technology industry, having founded a personalized mass email software product used to deliver email newsletters to subscribers. Adams also serves as the executive director of the Consumer Wellness Center, a non-profit consumer protection group, and pursues hobbies such as Pilates, Capoeira, nature macrophotography and organic gardening. Known on the 'net as 'the Health Ranger,' Adams shares his ethics, mission statements and personal health statistics at www.HealthRanger.org
 Get articles like this delivered to you FREE in our popular email newsletter
|
 |
The nutrient of the decade? Amazing omega-3 oil astonishes researchers...Learn the astonishing truth about green-lipped mussel oil in this eye-opening study. Full details revealed.
Click here to find out more
'This product is set to skyrocket in 2009... Don't miss the good news for your health.' - the Health Ranger
|
The Health Ranger reveals financial protection strategies for tough timesThis eight-CD audio seminar by the Health Ranger reveals hard-core financial protection strategies for surviving the next wave of the global financial crisis.
Click here to protect yourself now
"Guaranteed to deliver the most powerful financial protection advice you've ever seen or your money back!" - Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
|
Additional Products of Interest to AllBreville Juice Fountain Elite 800JEXL☯
Simply the best juicer in the world
for fast, easy juicing
Paraliminal Audio Courses☯
Powerful mind-enhancing audio therapy
for reprogramming your mind for a new future
How to Halt Diabetes in 25 Days☯
Health Ranger guide to reversing diabetes
for reversing type-2 diabetes
Boku Superfood
High-potency superfood powder
for preventing numerous diseases
Preparedness Tools Natural News Bundle☯
For preparedness and safety: 60% off
for preparing for natural disasters
Katadyn Exstream XR Water Purifier☯
#1 personal water purifier
for clean, pristine water in seconds
Healing Cancer From the Inside Out (DVD)
Amazing, eye-opening cancer documentary
for anyone wanting to know the truth on cancer
Zeitgeist: Addendum - Must-See Movie
A shocking documentary about money
for people who wan to know the real truth
The Genie In Your Genes by Dawson Church
A free, downloadable summary of this book
for learning about the biology of intention
Spirulina Pacifica
Pure, pristine spirulina superfood
for cancer prevention, alkalizing, immune func
The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
A free download of Biology of Belief
for learning about the mind-biology connection
Living Fuel SuperBerry Ultimate
Delicious superfood meal powder
for disease prevention, antioxidant boost
The Weiss Method for Heart Disease☯
How to reverse heart disease naturally
for heart disease, high cholesterol
Appetite for Profit (free download)
Free download summary of this top book
for discovering the truth about food companies
Hair Soap
A pure, simple and chemical-free shampoo
for washing hair without chemicals
Exposed! The Toxic Chemistry of Products
Free summary of this shocking book
for learning the truth about toxic products
Aloe Vera 100
Pure, dried 100% aloe vera gel flakes
for sludge blood, IBS, Crohn's disease
Free download: Selling Sickness (summary)
Read the best book on disease mongering
for learning the truth about Big Pharma
Revealed: Natural Health Solutions (free)
Free summary of book by Mike Adams
for learning censored natural health remedies
Katadyn MicroPur Water Purifier Tablets☯
The best water purification tablets
for purifying almost any water source
Vitamineral Green from Healthforce
Nutrient-dense superfood powder
for disease prevention, body alkalizing & more
Fucoxanthin with PinnoThin
Natural appetite suppressant
for obesity, overweight, overeating
Zyflamend
Powerful anti-inflammatory herbal formula
for arthritis, joint pain, inflammation
Nascent Iodine
Miraculous nascent iodine solution
for thyroid function, Alzheimer's, brain func.
Blood Support
Halts growth of cancer tumors
for breast cancer and all cancers
Amaz-a-Power
Amazing wild berry tincture from Peru
for eye & brain protection, cancer prevention
P-73 Oreganol
Potent source of wildcrafted oregano oil
for parasites, heart disease, immune func.
Ocean Minerals Pure Magnesium Oil
#1 product for magnesium therapy
for back pain, heart health, muscle health
MGC-5 Mushroom Extracts
Potent extracts of medicinal mushrooms
for reversing cancer, boosting immune function
Better Than Roasted - Macadamia Nuts☯
The most delicious raw nut spread ever
for heart health, circulatory health
* Products do NOT pay to be listed here. These are genuine, independent recommendations by the Health Ranger
☯ Products with this symbol are sold by NaturalNews or its affiliates and earn revenues for NaturalNews
|
|
Printable Version
Email this article to a friend
Share this article on: 
