According to officials in Beijing, sticking a swab up people's anuses is a more accurate way of identifying the presence of Chinese germs than jabbing a nose javelin up people's nostrils.
After being anally swabbed, a nine-year-old boy reportedly tested "positive" for the new highly contagious "strain" of the Chinese virus that was detected in the United Kingdom last month. Now, people all across China are being medically raped in the name of "science."
"Of course, anal swabs aren't as convenient as throat swabs, so they're only being used on individuals in key quarantine areas," stated Li Tongzeng of Beijing You'an Hospital. "This will reduce the return of false positives."
While nasal and throat swabs are still the most "popular" methods of testing people for the WuFlu, anal swabbing is becoming trendy in hot spots like Shanghai.
According to reports, the swabs are inserted 3 to 5 centimeters (1.2 to 2 inches) inside the rectum. Whatever ends up on the tip is then analyzed for the presence coronavirus molecules.
According to Li, anal swabs can help increase the rate of detectability while lowering the chances of missing a diagnosis or misdiagnosing suspected "cases."
"What we've found is that in some infected patients, the coronavirus survives for a longer period of time in their digestive tract or excrement than in their respiratory tract," Li is further quoted as saying.
"Rising cases" throughout China have led to a resurgence in new lockdowns. The goal is to keep the domestic "transmission" of Chinese germs to near-zero.
Just last week, officials partially closed down the capital city of Beijing after a handful of Wuhan coronavirus (COVID-19) cases were detected. As many as 1.6 million residents are now having to stay home indefinitely because a few people received "positive" test results.
All gatherings of more than 50 people throughout the city are banned, and no more people are allowed to get married until the "positive cases" are resolved.
Just like last year, this latest lockdown comes just ahead of the Lunar New Year celebrations in China that will just have to wait until next year, or probably never since the China virus is never, ever going to disappear, according to officials.
Even though only a few people have received "positive" test results in this latest Chinese "wave" of the virus, communist officials there want to prevent "herd transmission" from occurring, hence the lockdowns and mass anal testing.
Communist China is also, just like the United States, mass vaccinating people for the Chinese virus, prioritizing nine groups earlier this month. Included in these groups are those considered to be "high-risk" individuals who might easily "catch" the Wuhan coronavirus (COVID-19) and spread it to others.
"If we add anal swab testing, it can raise our rate of identifying infected patients," Li added, as quoted by Global News, which revealed that anal swabbing will soon become the No. 2 coronavirus testing method in communist China.
"But of course considering that collecting anal swabs is not as convenient as throat swabs, at the moment only key groups such as those in quarantine receive both."
Area residents are not pleased with this change in testing protocol, calling it "extreme humiliation."
"Everyone involved will be so embarrassed," wrote another on the Chinese Twitter-like social media platform Weibo.
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