Liberals have become so wound up and paranoid over the idea of racism hiding under every rock that a handful of them from the University of Michigan (UoM) reportedly called campus police recently over a piece of innocuous rope they stumbled upon, which they immediately assumed was a noose like the kind used to lynch black people back during the days of slavery.
Convinced that this “noose” was evidence of a “hate crime” on campus, these liberals quickly lept into action to neutralize the threat and take credit for stamping out “white supremacy” – except there was no hate crime or noose. As it turns out, a UoM employee had innocently tied the rope into a “Uni Knot” as practice for an upcoming fishing trip and left it in a shared workspace, meaning there was no harm, no foul, and no racism.
But because the left bases reality almost exclusively on assumptions and feelings rather than facts, much of the UoM campus erupted into mass chaos prior to the actual truth being revealed. Dr. Marschall S. Runge of UoM’s Medical School, for instance, quickly announced that he had “taken immediate action” to find out who planted the “noose,” adding in a statement before the verity of the situation had been fully fleshed out that:
“This act of hate violates all of the values that we hold dear and will not be tolerated,” Dr. Runge virtue-signaled as quickly as he could, adding that the “noose” was a “symbol of hate and discrimination.”
Dr. Runge had even promised that the incident would be investigated “as an act of discrimination and criminal ethnic intimidation” – that is, until an actual investigation not motivated by race hysteria revealed that the “noose” was actually just a simple rope that an aspiring angler had rigged up as practice for a fishing excursion.
“Based on multiple witness interviews and other evidence, DPSS (UoM’s Division of Public Safety and Security) does not believe that the incident involving the rope was a hate crime,” the school reluctantly announced after the fact. “If relevant new information comes forward, the case will be reopened.”
FBI Special Agent Timothy R. Slater, who had also been assigned the “case” from the bureau’s Detroit office, issued a similar statement about how if “information comes to light of a potential federal civil rights violation, the FBI is prepared to investigate.”
In other words, call us back when there’s a real crime to be investigated, not just another egg-on-our-face hate crime hoax perpetrated by angry, race-obsessed leftists who see black people hanging from trees everywhere they go.
Rather than apologize for this massive faux pas and admit that its protocols for identifying legitimate crimes on campus are in desperate need of reform, UoM is actually doubling down on this embarrassing situation by insinuating that it somehow did the right thing by jumping to conclusions without having all the facts.
“We all share the responsibility of creating a safe and secure environment free from violent or threatening behavior,” DPSS Executive Director Eddie L. Washington, Jr. said in a post-hoax statement. “Any crime designed to infringe upon these rights will be taken very seriously by the university and DPSS.”
DPSS also issued a statement about how students can report so-called “bias incidents,” describing these as “non-criminal speech or behaviors that are motivated by a bias against the victim’s race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, gender or disability.”
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